The Wifezilla Diaries

Wow, I haven’t posted in awhile.  I haven’t really felt like writing for some reason.  Not sure why.  I’ve been overwhelmed the past week or so.  I feel like I have a ton to do and not enough hours in the day to do it all.  Well, I always feel like that, but more so lately.  Robert leaves the country on Friday and will be gone a week.  As sad as I am that he will be gone, I enjoy the fact that I can actually get some things done without having him and the kids there - if I want to have crackers and cheese for dinner I will!  If I don’t want to do laundry until Friday, I won’t!  If I want to clean out my closet without interruptions I can!  And other various items such as these.  : )

Stella’s wedding is this Saturday.  As in just a few days from now.  I am so happy for her but it almost doesn’t seem real to me.  Kind of like my own wedding did.  I can’t believe how close it actually is to happening!  Don’t even ask me how my speech is coming.  Oh my Lord.  I had this bright idea that I would just wing the whole thing, but I am a babbler.  I can see me getting up there trying to wing the damn thing and going on for 20 minutes.  Like cue the music that they play when people are giving Oscar speeches.  You know the song - the one that says, “Shut your piehole and get off stage.”  I don’t want that song to be played for me.  So I have started jotting down ideas on things that I might use for the speech, but I am starting to get a little nervous about it.  The talking in front of 350 people isn’t my problem.  It’s being able to give a fab speech that I’m worried about.  After being best friends with someone for 22 years, how do you make that succinct, funny, touching all in 3 or 4 minutes?!  I’m struggling.  But very much looking forward to the whole day. 

I’m also going on lack of sleep.  My poor husband.  He suffers from insomnia.  Not like every now and again.  I mean he really suffers from it nearly every night.  He says he gets a good night’s sleep about once every three months.  He has cut caffeine out of his diet, doesn’t drink before bed (normally), isn’t eating late at night, has tried Melatonin, has even recently tried an Rx sleep aid (Rozerem).  He really wasn’t keen on trying a pill because he does not want to end up addicted to any sleeping pill of any sort.  His doctor told him that this one had the lowest addiction rate of any of them so he gave him some samples.  Robert took it Monday night.  Not a good idea.  Not only did it not work, but it made him feel all kinds of crazy the next day.  Like depressed, sad, anxious, etc.  So I looked up side effects and several people reported having these same side effects.  Not worth it to Robert so he stopped taking it.  Several medicines to that same thing to him.  Now we are back to square one, not knowing what to do.  He is going to have to end up going back to the doctor (I feel his is a quack half the time anyway but that is a different story).  It is draining him.  He can get to sleep just fine, but he wakes up all night long.  I feel so bad for him.  I am a zombie when I don’t sleep well.  I can’t imagine how he must feel all of the time.

Like I said - his problem isn’t getting to sleep, it’s staying asleep.  When he DOES fall asleep (which is 99% of the time before me) he is a snorer.  I love my husband to pieces.  I really do.  But I can’t tell you how frustrating this is.  I am the type of person who can’t have noise when they sleep other than white noise.  I have a white noise machine actually.  Something small - even if something in the dryer two rooms away is clicking on the sides (a zipper for example) I can’t go to sleep.  So the snoring.  Kills.  Me.  And I used to nudge him and he would roll over and it would stop at least long enough for me to get to sleep.  Well, now he is snoring even on his side.  The thing is that I feel like I need to let him sleep since he has so many problems.  So I don’t want to nudge him and wake him up because who knows how long it would take him to fall back asleep.  So I just endure it the best I can.  Last night it took me about 2.5 hours to finally fall asleep.  Even with my white noise machine on.  I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep because of it.  Some people say they eventually have to just go sleep in another room from the snorer.  I don’t want to do that at all, but I’m not sure what to do at this point.  I need my beauty sleep, yo. 

Okay wow.  I think I’m finished whining now.  WTF.  So I post to whine?!  Nice huh?!  I really do have a lot of good going on in my life.  Fall weather is finally here!  I wore boots and a jacket this morning - I adore this weather!  And I’m starting to bake pumpkin-y and apple-y goodness so my house smells like warm and cinnamon and just over all YUM.  This is probably my favorite time of the year actually.  Then the winter comes and ooh boy.  I hate the cold.  HATE.  So I’m going to enjoy the next couple of weeks as much as possible.  : ) 

More later…wish me luck on my speech!  Yikes!

I am still irritated from yesterday, my throat is scratchy and the stock market plummet doesn’t help either. Forgive me if I sound bitchy but…

Just curious, dear readers, who has the right of way? The one that is opening the door to go in or the one that is going out?

I say the one going in but I am flexible so I don’t mind giving the person going out first shot if you keep the door open for me as I go in. It’s called reciprocal courtesy. But when you see me coming, proceed to push the door out with centrifugal force to knock me out of the way so that I can’t go in and you can go out first then I have to go Emily Post on your ass. It’s that simple.

Sheesh. All this for a Big Mac and fries.

Meh… it was worth it.

{nom nom nom}

Our site should look like it’s usual self later today.  I’m messing with somethings right now and it will be looking bonkers so just be prepared.

It’s Monday. I hate Mondays. I have a headache. I am irritable.

Forgive my ensuing rant.

Mr. Apple is a friend of a friend of Mr. SAHW’s (Did you get that?) who teaches 11th and 12th grade math. Usually when he talks about his job, he focuses on the positive but one of the negative aspects that always seems to come up is a roadblock called Parents. Trust me. I am all for Parents being involved with your child’s education. Putting education first will only enhanced your child’s future BUT when you waste the teacher’s precious time b/c your cheerleader daughter doesn’t want to carry her heavy textbook to school everyday and wants the teacher to change the lessons so that her daughter doesn’t have to carry the textbook to school everyday then you deserve a swift kick in the arse. (Before any readers come back at me with “Maybe the girl has health issues”? I just wanna clarify that she doesn’t. She just has princess syndrome.)

Let me tell you something.

The teacher is not the enemy.
Your child is not the center of the universe.

Crying wolf about a fucking textbook being too heavy only leaves a bad taste in the teacher’s mouth and does not enable the teacher to *want* to teach your spoiled brat of a daughter. As a parent, you pick your battles between your child and teacher. *If* I were this girl’s parent I would say “Suck it up!” I wouldn’t waste my time or the teacher’s time with this “I don’t want to carry my textbook b/c backpacks are so last year” none sense. Sorry textbooks are kinda necessary to the learning curve. Two hundred other Mr. Apple’s students deal. Do you really think that your child is that special? The answer is no. She’s not. (Yes, I am answering my own question.) If you don’t cut the cord now she’s in for a rude awakening in the real world. You can’t call her boss to complain about her hours or pay. Future boss has the freedom to laugh in your face. Too bad teachers don’t have that luxury.

Seriously how is this girl going to survive college where the professors don’t give a shit if you come to their class and the counseling center doesn’t give a shit if you don’t have the credits to graduate so you have to stay another year. Does mommy wipe your ass for you too?

Unfortunately this trivial situation has happened to Mr. Apple one too many times and he has decided that the pay is not worth the parental and administrative shit he has to deal with. He actually thought becoming a teacher would enable him to teach (He’s obviously crazy right? Teacher=teaching? Yes this is called sarcasm.) but after 10 years he’s finally realized that being a teacher is 45% administrative, 45% parental crap and 10% teaching so he’s dropping his resume into the private sector and leaving the babysitting business behind.

Congratulations Parent! You have succeeded in being the textbook that broke the teacher’s back and pushed another awesome teacher out of the profession who will be replaced with a teacher that is highly unqualified, only in the teaching profession for the paycheck and the summer vacation. All this for a fucking textbook that your fucktard daughter didn’t want to carry to school. You win. {golf clap} I hope you’re happy.

No wonder Japan is kicking our ass in the math and sciences.

The state of education is akin to our economy: Declining… FAST. (Can you believe that Mr. Apple’s high school of 4000 kids and 200 teachers only has one copy machine? That’s fucking ludicrous!)

Where is education’s bailout plan, Senator McSame?

… and I tremble at the thought that our next veep could be a woman who thinks foreign policy experience comes from flying in Alaskan skies. PS. She’s not the one doing the traveling either. {shudder}

I hear Canada is nice this time of year.

I read this and I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or wince in pain at the thought.  Seriously though?!

WTF?!

Happy Friday all!

I had to regress to my college days momentarily with that title.  Okay, so it IS in fact Thursday and I have apparently been thirsty.  ::stares at 3/4 empty bottle of Sebeka Sauvignon Blanc::  I am NOT in college.  I am NOT at a bar.  I am NOT in a skanky outfit (in a towel fresh out of the shower though…hm, comprable I guess…). 

Let’s see.  So Robert is at a business dinner.  He has some people in town from out of the country so he is currently at the swankiest restaurant in our city being wined and dined.  Sometimes wives get to go, sometimes not.  This is a “not” time.  I decided to have some wine at home anyway.  And watch my DVR’d “Lipstick Jungle”.  LOVE that show. 

The fun part is that I really don’t have much to write about.  Not much is going on right now which is good in my book.  This week has been all about homework and just trying to rest.  Robert has had a very busy week at work.  The kids have had mucho amount of homework.  Tyler’s homework is funny.  First of all, that they have homework in preschool blows my mind.  WHAT is that?!  Getting a four year old to sit down long enough to do homework is interesting to say the least.  I had forgotten how fun it is to learn things and that the things that we know, we often take for granted.  We are currently working on rhyming and letter sounds.  Last night we had a game where you had to turn over cards and see if the pictures sounded like they started with an “H”.  We kept pulling pictures…”House, does that start with H?”  “Yes!” he said.  I pulled out a picture of a doll.  “D-D-Doll.  Does that start with H?”  He shook his head knowingly and said, “Nope!”  And I said, “good!  what does that start with?!”  “Double-U (w)” he said proudly.  LOL  His teacher said that is a constant source of confusion for the kids.  I get it! That is a hard one right?!  I found that to be so cute.  : )  They are so innocent at that age.  Don’t you wish you could bottle that up?!

I am getting very sleeeepy now.  I suppose I will take the towel off and wait for my husband now.  Perhaps he will get lucky and get home before I freeze my ass off and cover up with a blanket and fall into a deep slumber.  Doubtfully though. 

Happy almost weekend everyone!

Ok, this is seriously the funniest thing I have read in awhile.   Read this.

I’ve always thought PETA was a little on the crazy side.  Don’t get me wrong, I love animals, I would much rather pay for free range chickens and other meats and I agree slaughter houses have some crummy practices, but I think PETA, on a regular basis, just takes things way too far.

What’s they’re newest completely out there idea?

They want Ben and Jerry’s to use breast milk instead of cows milk in their ice cream.  Ahhh no!  Not only is there the whole, I haven’t drank breast milk since I was a baby thing, but the potential for diseases being passed around and who knows what else yuck I’m all set.  I think my bigger problem is that I wouldn’t drink my own breast milk let alone someone else’s.

I do pretty much all of the cooking in our house.  Robert makes spaghetti, chili, and deviled eggs (I hate deviled eggs).  He also chops up onions for me if I ask him since I hate the burning sensation in my nose and eyes.  I even do the grilling which some people find odd, but I actually like to grill.  I love being outside so cooking outside is a beautiful thing to me.

Last night I was going to grill some yummy chicken breasts for dinner.  I prepared everything then went out to start the grill.  Something is wrong with our grill and we are waiting for them to go on sale so I can buy a charcoal grill - I want one NOW!  Anyway, so something is wrong with our gas grill so when you turn it on, you have to take a lighter with you and actually stick it next to the grate to light it once the gas is on.  I always use my really long candle lighter when I do this and it’s never a problem. 

I had just put my hair up in a ponytail to avoid hairy pieces of chicken and I walked outside with my lighter.  I pulled up the grill cover, turned on the gas, turned it on high heat and stuck the lighter down near the grate.  Well, for some reason last night the grill decided that it’s flames needed to resemble that of a large forest fire in California because the flames were HUGE.  In fact so huge that they came up and took a large bite out of what hair was hanging down in my face from my ponytail and a huge chunk of hair off of my right arm.  It took me a second to realize what had just happened because in all my years of grilling I have never been actually singed by the grill! 

Let me tell you.  The smell of burning human hair is what got me.  OMG.  I couldn’t really SEE what had happened at that point standing on the patio, but I could SMELL it.  I ran in the house and sure enough, there were now little wirey, smell pieces of disgusting hair attached to the right side of my head and on my arm.  Luckily, it was only a small bit of hair and you can’t even tell today since I’m wearing my hair down.  But oh my Lord.  The smell.  I have never scrubbed my arms and face with fancy shmancy smelling soap so hard in my life. 

Note to self:  Start trying to persuade husband to grill.

I think everyone has some sort of vision about their “dream home”.  I know I always have.  Of course that vision has changed over the years to more practical things that would be wanted and needed.   I am fortunate enough to have a husband who does pretty well financially, so this “dream home” idea is not farfetched.  In fact, we have a lot that we plan on build on in the next 2-3 years.  The lot is absolutely perfect and we can’t wait to build.  Robert is very good with things like house plans, designs, etc. so we have been working on our design for quite some time.  We are currently in the stages of trying to figure out exactly WHEN we can build based on the costs of the things that we want.  We are trying to be very smart about it because we only want to build when we have saved enough for it to not be a financial burden.  Also, the new house will be about 3 times the size of our current house so we want to make sure that we are also financially secure enough to pay for things like landscaping, new furniture, etc. that we will have to have. 

We have been so excited and so ready to build this house for the longest time.  We can’t wait to have more room in the house, have a bigger yard, have a bigger garage, live in that area, and have all the cool custom things that we will have in the house.  It is going to be amazing!  As amazing as it is all going to be, I have to admit, we get a little wishy washy from time to time.  Why?  We are going to have an amazing home to raise our family in and it will have everything we all want and more!  The wishy washiness comes from our love of our current home.

Our current house is a nice house - we have 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a 2 car garage, fenced in backyard and live in a decent subdivision.  However, we are outgrowing it.  The kids rooms are too small.  We need a room for them to do homework in - a study or at least a seperate desk area.  We need a bigger garage.  We need a family room or some sort of room to entertain/for the kids to use when having company and whatnot.  I am dying for a bigger kitchen and more cabinet space.  I need a bigger laundry room.  We have all of these wants and needs that our current house just isn’t accommodating. 

However.  This is the house where we fell in love.  This is the house that the kids have grown up in for 5 years now.  We have put in so much work to this house - the two of us.  We have always had a project - laying hardwood floor, gutting a bathroom, etc., and it’s very cool to know that we did all of that together and ourselves and had a good time together doing it.  We just have SO many memories in this house.  Memories with the kids, memories with each other, memories with our families.  It is hard to deal with leaving that behind.  I can’t imagine the day that the house is empty and we lock the door behind us for the last time.  I will be a crying mess.  I am sure of it.  And I don’t cry easily.  The thought of someone else in OUR house makes me sad.  They won’t appreciate it like we do.  That is how I feel, you know?  And I wonder how long it will take us to make a new house feel like “home”?  I don’t think it will take long because a family makes a “home” not stuff, but it will be odd for awhile I think.  Robert feels the same way.  Last night I was like, “I can’t imagine not living here can you?,” and he completely agreed with me and got the same wistful look on his face that I had.

As sad as we will be, we will build our new house and I am sure that it will have just as much love in it.  We will be doing a lot of the work ourselves as a family and that alone will be a great start.  Our kids will live the best years of their lives in the new house and so will we.  Everyone will have the room to grow and do what they want in the new house which will be important, especially as the kids get older.  We will also live closer to the kids when we build which is EXTREMELY important for all involved. 

Excuse my wishy-washiness.  I am extremely thankful for everything that we have both material wise and family wise.  My heart just takes over my brain sometimes and causes the wistfulness.  I am a sap, what can I say?

To say I love Facebook is an understatement. I was an early adopter and signed up almost as soon as soon as they opened it up to non Ivy league schools (being a Boston School close to Harvard we were in the first bunch on non-Ivy’s). Over the years Facebook has proved to be just about the cooles thing ever. It’s crazy to find people I was friends with when I was 10 and have lost touch with. Without facebook there would be no other way to find them. It’s a great way to stay in touch with people and to see what’s going on in peoples lives. I really don’t even need to go to my high school reunion (yes!) now because I already know what’s going on in everyones lives and the people who arent’ on facebook wouldn’t be at the reunion anyway.

Lately though, the ability to connect with people has me a bit leary of facebook’s practices. See, when Facebook first started it was only open to people in college with a college email address. As a college student that was A-ok with me, but I did detest having to venture over to the dreaded MySpace to catch up with friends that didn’t go to college. When facebook allowed highschoolers I was happy for them, then they let anyone with a valid email address in. I thought to myself “ok cool” as long as it doesn’t become predator central like myspace I’m thrilled that my non college going buddies can join in on the fun.

Over the course of the last few years though Facebook has become huge. Everyone knows about it and everyone and their mother is joining. I said Mother instead of brother for a reason. In the last month one of my Aunts and one of my Uncles has requested me as a friend. Ummm NO! This is a site for me and my friends, no parental units allowed (unless you’re a cool parent and even then don’t become FB friends with your kid). If it were my parents joining and wanting to be friends I would add them because they already know about the crazy shinanigans I take part in, but my Aunts and Uncles are hmm how do I say this nicely … more than a little conservative. If they saw the old college pictures of me doing keg stands they would probably drop dead from the shock and horror of such outrageous behavior and they would most certainly go through my pictures hoping to find that I’m not the devil’s spawn.

Needless to say I haven’t and will not add them as friends. No way no how, I do not want to censor myself on Facebook. I hate censoring myself around them when I’m with them, if I’m forced to do it on my own turf I will flip out. Even with a limited view of my profile god only knows what kind of crap has been posted on my wall that I don’t want them to see. Way to put me in an awkward position Facebook. I’m sure they can figure out that I haven’t let them be my friends and they’re sure to hold it against me even though they’re not my friends, they’re my family biiiig difference when it comes to knowing certain things about my life.

Damn you facebook, you have now caused irreprable familial damage that you conveniently don’t have to deal with. While i am stuck dealing with the guilt and potential annoyances you have caused you can float along without a care in the world. I hope you’re happy. Ok ok, it’s not that bad, but it still creeps me out that my Aunts and Uncles are on … it feels very scary/stalkerish and it completely falls in the realm of myspace creepiness.