Last week if you had bothered to ask me how I feel about weddings I would have said “I’m so over them.” Don’t get me wrong I love being able to help my friends with their weddings and I have a sickening sense of pride that I still have every stupid website that has the [...]
Read the rest of BOTB: Weddings
I can’t imagine what life was like for Robert having the kids all by himself before I came along. Don’t get me wrong - he is an amazing father. He is fun, he would do anything for the kids, he makes sure that the kids have a great childhood as much as possible - having [...]
Read the rest of SMILF: "She ain’t here is she?"
Real HouseWife of New York: noun. 1. a woman who does not know how to be second best in a world of the best. 2. one who wants everything. now. in a place where everyone has everything. and it’s better than hers.You can forget the countess, that tacky guidette and the poor girl, Alex.
This is [...]
Read the rest of RHWONY: Defined
Unlike tweedle dee and tweedle dumb (more oftenly known as SAHW and SMILF or is that SMILF and SAHW?) I can’t wait to be a mom. A real, live, shitting a watermelon out your cooch mom, preferably one of the SAH persuassion.
When I was younger and in my I’m “12 and I know everything phase” [...]
Read the rest of BOTB: To baby or not to baby that is the question
I know what you’re thinking…
What the hell does a Stay At Home Wife do if there are no drool monsters to take care of? Stop. Just stop. I don’t need any Suzy Homemakers telling me that its only worthwhile to stay at home if you have children. I already have a mother-in-law [...]
Read the rest of SAHW: Deconstructed
It’s no secret to anyone around me that I am constantly obsessing over how I look. I am not one that has to dress to the nines every day or anything (or even to the eights for that matter….) but keeping my size 4 in check is constantly on my mind. I have to be [...]
Read the rest of SMILF: Will starve for martinis
Defined: SMILF: a StepMother I would Like to Fuck; i.e., “dude your stepmom is a SMILF”
Actual conversation:
15-year-old girl: “Mom, do you think there is something wrong with someone who thinks they do NOT want to have kids? I really don’t think that I ever will.” 15 year old is really thinking…please don’t make me baby-sit [...]
Read the rest of SMILF: Defined
MWF with the need to be the best at everything…cooking, baking, entertaining, staying fit, interior decorating and basically just existing and being fabulous. Any jealous haters need not apply…I’ve got enough in my life.
Smoked pot — $20 at least once a weekend in high school.Did acid — $20Ever had sex at church — $50Woke [...]
Read the rest of Meet "RHWONY"
MWF with BOTB. Looking to get pregnant ASAP. Ex-nympho turned ambivalent looking for magical Jesus-like immaculate conception. If you can get my husband baby ready you’re the one for me!
Smoked pot — $20 ahh one of my favorite pastimes in collegeDropped acid — $20 you should see the tripping sex tape [...]
Read the rest of Meet "BOTB"
Child hater turned SMILF - ISO way to juggle being perfect, pleasing everyone, & not committing murder all while wearing 4 inch heels and a big smile. Seeks perfect body on potato chip, pizza, and wine diet. Rx drugs & plastic surgery need not apply.
Smoked pot — $20 I tried it one time. I blame [...]
Read the rest of Meet "SMILF"
